Sunday, July 29, 2007

TRAGEDY UNFOLDS AT MILLIONAIRE’S BUNKER
Los Angeles New Times, July 8, 2007

Ivo Kashoggian’s newly-erected underground palace collapsed in the middle of a party with an estimated 300 in attendance, police said this morning.

“So far, 218 bodies have been found,” police lieutenant Craig Jensen said. “We have a crew working to find the rest of them, but there are very few places left to look.”

When asked if some of the victims exhibited signs of PMMS, Lieutenant Jensen seemed hesitant to respond. “Kashoggian was R428 positive,” he said, “although he wasn’t forthcoming about that. It’s true that some of the people we thought must surely be dead turned out not to be.”

But is there evidence of foul play? When questioned about the explosive charges reportedly found in the rubble and the bite marks on many of the victims, Police Chief Sandy Coombs was reluctant to comment. “We’re reserving comments until we can put the whole picture together,” he said. “If it turns out the collapse was planned, it wouldn’t be the first time Kashoggian was involved in criminal actions. The only difference is, this time he didn’t get away with it.”

Or did he? Though Kashoggian was almost certainly in attendance, his body has yet to be found.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Ivo Kashoggian

I don’t know which I am more drawn to, Mathilde or the Black Rock.

Whichever it is, I can no longer resist.

I am going to Ivo Kashoggian’s to see both of them (the journey will be long).

It occurs to me that these computers on which we are communicating are nothing but coffins of glass and plastic.

My dear friends, are you out there? Sometimes I think I made the lot of you up.

I am cognizant that if I go to Kashoggian’s, some change may happen. At the very least, I may despise myself, I have never been drawn to anything or anyone like this before.

At any rate, for the time being, I leave you with a friend to keep you company.

I am departing, dear friends.

I shall return.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Writing on the Wall (Door)

My building has been condemned. Apparently somebody complained one too many times about a rodent problem. I found this letter on my door: IT IS ILLEGAL TO TRESPASS, DESTROY, OR REMOVE ANYTHING FROM THESE PREMISES. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED.

Obviously there are officials who want to see me brought down.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Shameful Secrets

It is with great regret that I post the following e-mail, one which will lay bare one of the most shameful secrets of my life. Please withhold your judgements.

TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/25/98
SUBJECT: The truth


Rodrigo—

All along, I knew the truth. What does it matter? The world is a tomb, and I have loved you since we were children. I know you lost your memory of the accident - perhaps you blocked it out. I was in the car with you. I was wearing my First Communion veil and white dress and I imagined we were on the way to our wedding.

For awhile, I believed you knew as well. It was fate that brought us together in college - I did not seek you out. I was sure you recognized me. But I fell so deeply in love with you I couldn’t risk it. I was unaware of how much your Grandmother had suppressed, though I understand her need to do so. I was unaware of how much you had suppressed, as well. When you said you were ready to open up the storage unit, I was willing to support you. I feared I would lose you—please don’t let my worst fears come true.

I changed my name when I was “cured.” My doctor thought it would be good to make a clean break with my past. You know me as Mary.

The world is a tomb. Cousins, lovers - what does it matter? We make our own rules.

Yours,
Mary/Mathilde

Thursday, June 21, 2007



I remember it. Do you?

Do you remember I sang you Edith Piaf?

Do you remember how thrilling it was at the beginning of our relationship? That feeling of finding someone? You were conducting your study of Near Death Experiences, and I told you that every day for me was a “Near Death Experience.”

We found an understanding.

At least for a time.

Can we find an understanding again?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Death Be Not Proud

At this point in our correspondence I remember quoting John Donne, the Tzombi poet (those of you in literary circles may scoff at this suggestion, but remember “Death be not proud?") Anyone with a passing familiarity with Izaak Walton’s biography of Donne will know that he exhibited most of the traits associated with the Tzombi race. In fact, one of his early poems, “The Good Morrow”—the title itself a reference to the “morrow” after death—contains the line “Whatever dyes, was not mixt equally.” Most scholars consider this a love poem, when in fact it is a coded reference to his Tzombi status, the term “mixture” being largely applied in the late 1500’s to one’s combination of nationalities. Here he is proclaiming his “mixture” to be equal parts Tzombi and Anglo.

At any rate, I remember including lines from the Tzombi poet’s “The Anniversarie”:
Only our love hath no decay;
This, no to morrow hath, nor yesterday.
Two graves must hide thine and my coarse,
If one might, death were no divorce.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/18/98
SUBJECT: Base desires


Rodrigo -

Death surrounds us like a shroud, but I must honor it, and you must honor me. I can see you are not ready. It is for your own protection.

Mathilde


TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 05/19/98
SUBJECT: Necrophilia


Mathilde -

I will honor you. But follow my line of reasoning: love has no logic, but perhaps it can be applied here: if you are, in fact, dead, then the doctors are wrong, and I don’t, in fact, exist. If this is true, everything is in your head and the rules of society hold no sway over us, because society is merely a construct of your own imagination. If I do, in fact exist, then so do the doctors and you are not, in fact, dead. Therefore the necrophilia you mentioned is impossible.

I feel like a schoolboy trying to convince his crush to dance with him—forgive me. But this, too, adds to a vitality that I have not felt at all during my adult life, so perhaps these adolescent feelings are appropriate. You have made me new again.

Yours,

Rodrigo

Wednesday, June 06, 2007



TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 05/18/98
SUBJECT: Base desires

Mathilde --

I must admit to you that, in general, I am a stranger to base desires. Perhaps it is due to my being steeped in the materialist branches of philosophy; perhaps I recognize such things as simply a means of furthering a species I am uncertain is worth furthering; perhaps I am unable to engage in such things because I see the world as a joyless sham. What I do know is that when I contemplate indulging in the carnal with you it seems, not like the base act it is, but rather an act of affirmation—the ultimate proof that we both exist and have overcome the death which surrounds us.

Rodrigo

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 04/22/98
SUBJECT: The solipsistic conceit

Rodrigo -

I feel I should distinguish for you between the rational, empirically provable fact that I am alive and the emotional truth that I am dead. The paradox here is essentially the same as that which underlies the solipsistic conceit: the doctors can tell me that I have a mental or chemical condition, but when I question the very reality of those doctors, none of what they way matters. I KNOW I am dead. I also know that others find this difficult to accept. I am perfectly within my rights to doubt their existence.

When I am capable of being rational, I am fully aware of my situation. I have been diagnosed with Cotard’s Syndrome by a team of doctors in Paris. I spent eight years in an institution on a daily regimen of Venlafaxine and Zuclopenthixol. When my doctor, the leading specialist in Cotard’s Syndrome, decided to relocate to Southern California, I followed him. I have not seen the specialist for years, although I have continued my drug regiment. But when I am here, Paris does not exist, and the doctors do not exist except as constructs of my own imagination. My problem is a reality. I am dead. If the doctors do not exist, their theory that I suffer from mental illness is simply a construction of my mind. Nobody else exists—I am in the grave, surrounded by six feet of isolation. If anyone is capable of making me believe in the autonomy of the other human beings around me, it is you. I know my psyche, which has known so little kindness, love, or generosity, is utterly incapable of inventing a person with such an abundance of these qualities.

However, though sweet, your words worry me. I do not want you to be absorbed. If anything, I want to be absorbed into you. As I’ve said before, your existence is proof positive that I am not alone.

If you will have me, I am yours.

Mathilde.

P.S. I suppose kissing is fine, but I will not have you sullied by allowing you to engage in an act that amounts to necrophilia, much as I might desire it. Please honor my wishes on this point.”

Sunday, June 03, 2007

The Episode

Mathilde.

You must listen to me.

You don’t remember your episode.

I remember everything.

You were out of your head. I moved you from the window, where you were lying in the sun, complaining that it was burning your flesh away, to the darkened bedroom. I sat with you for hours. You wrapped the sheet around yourself like a shroud. I stayed for several hours until you fell asleep. I came back every day to check on you.

I must admit that feeling needed by you was an exhilarating and slightly frightening proposition.

Having no family other than my grandmother, the bonds of any kind of love were bound to be a bit untried - I only hope I could honor them to the level at which they deserve to be honored.

Saturday, June 02, 2007


You know that blunt trauma to the head was the cause of my syndrome.

Be honest with yourself, Rodrigo. You were there.

Friday, June 01, 2007

An Overriding Aesthetic

I would hardly characterize my fastidiousness as a “disorder,” but rather an overriding aesthetic with which I live and work.

Thursday, May 31, 2007



Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):


A condition that is characterized by the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions. Obsessions are recurrent, intrusive thoughts usually irrational worries that often necessitate behaviors to prevent untoward consequences (e.g., fears of contamination from dirt requiring the individual to wear gloves at all times). Compulsions are recurrent behaviors that the individual feels compelled to undertake which are beyond what are considered normal, usually to preserve personal safety, to avoid embarrassment, to perform adequately (e.g., checking multiple times to see that the gas is turned off before leaving home).

Friday, May 25, 2007

In the Interest of Understanding

Dear Readers:

In the interest of understanding, I’d like to draw your attention to the phrase in the above correspondence which Mathilde illegally posted on my blog: “It’s so rarely that I am able to escape my own head.” This statement epitomizes Mathilde’s affliction, which is characterized as a type of megalomelancholia.

In the beginning of our relationship, I sympathized with these feelings, even encouraged them, as I felt they were a healthy appraisal of the philosophical idea of solipsism , an idea which it is impossible to refute. What I began to realize, however, is that this attitude was a sign of mental illness.

Please note I attribute my inability to perform a certain function to the slovenly nature of Mathilde’s flat. Before the function in question was to be performed, I had stepped on a cockroach in my bare feet. This, and the fact that she was wearing her communion veil.

Thursday, May 24, 2007


TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/11/98
SUBJECT: Last night


Rodrigo—

Please don’t be ashamed about last night. Your grief is wholly warranted, and a logical result of these exciting times. I was honored to be there to help you through it. It is so rarely that I am able to escape my own head.

Mathilde


TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 05/12/98
SUBJECT: My failure


Mathilde—

I have never failed in this capacity before. I have always found myself able to perform. I don’t know where those feelings came from. All of these years I kept my family’s things in storage. I didn’t want to look at them because I didn’t want to be sentimental. I didn’t cry much—my grandmother cried enough for us both, and I often found it embarrassing and even suspected it might be false. I don’t know why now should be the time for me to suffer this sudden access of emotion.



TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/12/98
SUBJECT: Your failure

Rodrigo—

I know you’re confused by your feelings, and possibly a little frightened. I am confused, too—but remember how you felt when you were able to help me through my melancholic episode? I am here to help you as well.

Mathilde

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Hot Sauce

The hot sauce does not appear to be working, despite the fact that I have slathered it along every available surface. I am desperate.

Last night I had a vision of the Black Rock. I saw it standing in a dark cavern, outlined by red lights, with thousands of rodents swarming around it in a frenzy. The rodents were howling -- a high-pitched, unearthly howling which threatened to undo my sanity. And yet I was drawn to it with all the memory in my genes. I couldn’t look away even though I felt myself being consumed.

When I woke, I was sitting at my desk at the office. It was well past 11:00 p.m. and everyone had gone home. My fingers were still perched over the computer keyboard.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007



TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/06/98
SUBJECT: The veil

Rodrigo—

I am troubled and disappointed that I found you rooting around in my closet last night, but even more so that you responded so violently on finding my veil. Did you think it was a bridal veil? That perhaps I was preparing for our wedding? Or that I had been married before? Or did you know it as from my First Communion, which I was never able to celebrate? You know I’m not religious, but Doctor Brandauer, in the course of my treatment, advised me to make a clean break with my troubled childhood by keeping only one memento. I thought I might wear it for you so you could understand where I came from. I can see now you’re not ready for that revelation.

Mathilde


TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 05/07/98
SUBJECT: The veil

Mathilde—

I admit the thought crossed my mind that you were indulging in fantasies of marriage, when I thought we had agreed that commitments of any sort would only be detrimental to our relationship. I must admit the veil also reminded me of my upbringing and the painful memories associated with it.

Rodrigo

TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/07/98
SUBJECT: The veil

Rodrigo—

We don’t need to speak the words if you’re not ready.

Mathilde

Monday, May 21, 2007

Rodents in a Trap

I have finally taken one of the rodents – which I caught with a trap, rather than poison – placed it carefully in a plastic bag to avoid contamination, and compared it to a picture in a book – it is, in fact, a vole. It now makes perfect sense that the poison does not work on them.

Thank you, erthwsdm, for providing me with that helpful bit of information. However, I am still at a loss as to how to alleviate the problem.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Everything Out In The Open

Perhaps erthwisdom is right -- perhaps it is best to get everything out in the open.

Mathilde, do you remember the euphoria of those first days together?

Why do you persist in antagonizing me? Did we not get some joy from each other?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 03/16/98
SUBJECT: Broomhandle

Rodrigo—

The connection you mention is one I have long dreamed about as well, and just as long thought impossible. When I had my accident as a child and was in the hospital for so many long years, I felt that I would never find a connection with another human soul. I so often feel divorced from my body, but with you inside me I know that it is real. If only Broomhandle could fly into my mouth, ending the painful separation between us both! The days are too long without you. I want a tiny version of you that I can keep in my pocket.

Mathilde

Friday, May 11, 2007


To: Mathilde Bagnoire
From: Rodrigo Weiss
Date: 03/15/98
Subject: This feeling

Mathilde—

I never knew that this sort of feeling existed. I have had relationships in the past, but have never felt such an intensity. I feel as if I am about to leap off the precipice, but in the full knowledge that I can fly.

Rodrigo


TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 03/15/98
SUBJECT: My feeling


Rodrigo—

Having your company for the night was the surest proof that I am actually alive. I have never felt this much a part of the world.

Mathilde


TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 03/16/98
SUBJECT: Broomhandle


Mathilde—

Nor have I. I want to hold you all day and night, and feel your cool flesh against mine. When I was a boy, I dreamed about connecting in this way with a woman. I spent much of my time inventing stories about my alter ego, Sir Roderick, and his love the Lady Madeline, who was imprisoned in a coffin of glass. I know, I know, it sounds a lot like Sleeping Beauty—but to my credit, there was no dragon—just an evil witch. And the only way the coffin could be opened was for the Lady Madeline to open it from the inside, so Sir Roderick sent his pet dragonfly Broomhandle through the keyhole to whisper the magic words in the Lady Madeline’s ear. Sometimes the witch captured Roderick as well, and Broomhandle would have to fly through the keyhole of his glass coffin and out into the forest to the witch’s castle where the Lady Madeline was imprisoned. In one particularly inspired variation, Broomhandle had to sacrifice himself for the love of his master by flying into the Lady Madeline’s mouth and becoming the magic words she was required to speak.

I later tried turning these stories into a children’s book, but the publishers to whom I submitted the manuscript felt that its themes were too adult. I include for your amusement the illustration of Broomhandle flying into the Lady Madeline’s mouth, and an “outtake”, from a version in which Sir Roderick first attempts to get the Lady Madeline to say the magic words through a game of charades.

Rodrigo




Wednesday, May 09, 2007

More Disappointing News

Dear Mr. Weiss –

Re: your most recent submission to The Learning Annex teaching pool. I’m sorry you found our standard rejection letter misleading. Let me state clearly and personally that we are not offering classes in any sort of zombie history at this time. Zombies do not exist. Please refrain from submitting another proposal. If you are interested in participating in one of our mental health seminars, I would be happy to provide you with a discount code (I think you could really use some help). Otherwise, the next time you have an urge to send us a packet of your “materials and research,” go to the nearest tall building and take a flying leap.

Sincerely,
Liz Baker
Assistant to the Executive in Charge of Submissions



I choose not to lose my faith in humankind, but to instead believe that this is the work of a bored young woman, perhaps in an argument with her boss, or smarting over being rejected from the English Department at UCLA yet again. I shall submit another application soon, to another department, and press on with my quest to share my research with a larger audience.

Monday, May 07, 2007

The Price of Progress

A sad note to report: Botanica Mystere, that wonderful shop run by Esperanza McNunn (noted in an earlier entry) has been boarded up, along with The Juice Fountain. Apparently, they are building some sort of hotel complex in the area.

I hope the merchants fare well in their new homes.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Another Solution

I have been advised that mice avoid hot sauce.

Of course this made for a rather comical scene at the grocery store, as I pushed a cartful of Tabasco, Cholula, Tapatio, and something called “Mad Iguana” through the aisles, explaining to curious onlookers that it was for my mice.

Sometimes the most vexing problems can provide us with a bit of levity.

Monday, April 30, 2007

An Open Letter to the Person Who Spread Dish Soap on My Stairs This Morning




I'm not sure whether it was sabotage or simply a poor attempt to clean up the cigarette ash that you've tracked up and down our staircase for the past two years, but please note that dish soap is exceptionally slippery and not suitable for commercial cleaning uses.

As for my early morning tumble down the stairs, dear Readers, you can rest assured that I merely sprained my back and my index finger. No permanent damage was done (except to my Grandmother's thermos - my only keepsake of hers - that shattered beyond all repair).

Friday, April 27, 2007

Return of the Sharp-Toothed Vermin

The mice have been gnawing again, leaving traces of themselves all over my workspace. I see whiskers and droppings and bits of sawdust from the walls. I can hear them chewing in the silence, when I am reading or staring at the blank computer screen. After several more pleas to the property management company, this is the note I received from the building manager:

Hey zombie [sic] guy –

I’m not supposed to give you anything, but this should get rid of those rats of yours.

Charlie
Bldg. Manager


I sprinkled the poison around the places where the mice have been getting in, but it hasn’t been working. Nothing works.

Nothing.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Success!

Thanks to new security measures I've recently taken, I can confidently say there will be no more unauthorized posts from a certain person on this blog.

Thank you all for your patience.

Monday, April 23, 2007


FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/09/98
SUBJECT: Travel plans?

Mathilde -

I must confess that seeing you lying there like that I experienced a disturbing sense of déjà vu. It was that, more than anything, which set me off.

You’re right. I am feeling raw. Perhaps my euphoria has left me with an excess of energy. I don’t know what to do with myself.

Perhaps we should travel?

Yours,
Rodrigo


FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
TO: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 05/09/98
SUBJECT: My condition


Rodrigo -

You know that I can’t travel in my condition. Besides, to do so would be a flight from reality.

Mathilde


TO: Mathilde Bagnoire
FROM: Rodrigo Weiss
DATE: 05/09/98
SUBJECT: Your condition


Mathilde -

I don’t think you’re in any condition to judge reality.

Rodrigo

TO: Rodrigo Weiss
FROM: Mathilde Bagnoire
DATE: 05/09/98
SUBJECT: My reality


Rodrigo -

I know my reality, and I know that you’re not living in it.

Let’s stop this. I want to see you.

Tonight.

M.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

A Plea For Help

Can someone help me with this?

Saturday, April 21, 2007



To: Mathilde Bagnoire
From: Rodrigo Weiss
Date: 05/08/98
Subject: Apology

Mathilde -

I’m sorry for the things I said last night. I had spent the previous 24 hours thinking of nothing but you; perhaps the anticipation I felt was too much for me to bear. I shouldn’t have blamed you.

R.


To: Rodrigo Weiss
From: Mathilde Bagnoire
Date: 05/08/98
Subject: My condition

Rodrigo -

I don’t mind you criticizing my housekeeping skills; I have never felt cleanliness to be particularly important when the world is a living tomb. I had suspected you might be put off, given your nature. But I am not likely to change. Where I do take offense is in your criticism of my performance—you know that physical exertion is not good for one in my condition; I hope you also know that I did not purposefully imitate a cadaver.

I think you may still be feeling a bit raw emotionally, and would prefer to put everything behind us.

Mathilde

Friday, April 20, 2007

A Simple Request

Mathilde, I demand that you stop posting here.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


From the Boca Raton Bee, November 6 -13 edition:
Mae Ridgecrest Weiss passed away November 3, 2004 at her home in Boca Raton, Florida. She was 92. Born in New York, New York, Ms. Weiss was the heiress to the Ridgecrest Food Company, famous for manufacturing communion wafers supplied to Catholic churches across the United States and Canada. Her husband, son, daughter-in-law and two grandchildren were killed in an automobile accident in 1976, leaving her a widow.

Ms. Weiss enjoyed cooking and needlepoint. She also enjoyed traveling in the Northeast, touring Communion Wafer plants and sampling their merchandise. Later in life, despite her great fortune, she lived without luxury or electricity. She is survived by one grandson, whereabouts unknown.

Graveside services will be held Friday, November 7 at 1 p.m., at the Holy Cross Cemetery on County Road P in Boca Raton. A viewing will be held on Thursday, November 6, 2006, from 4-8 p.m. at Sweet & Son Mortuary. Memorial contributions may be made to the Sisters of Mercy Food Bank and the Animal Shelter of Boca Raton.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!

I will not stand for my blog to be hijacked.

Mathilde, since you refuse to contact me privately, and since my attempts to contact you have proved futile, I must publicly implore you to stop.

Stop.

Stop publishing my private e-mails! They were not meant to be read by anyone but you!

Readers, as you know, I’m not a technically adept computer programmer. This blog was started with the assistance of a student hired from a flyer posted in the downtown branch of the Los Angeles Public Library. Unfortunately, Z. has disappeared from the face of the earth. Calls have gone unreturned. Beware of this young man; do not be taken in by his boyish charm and assurances that his “extremely reasonable rate” will include follow-up consultations.

Obviously, I no longer trust or respect my so-called “co-workers,” so I cannot ask them for help.

Mathilde, do not force me to shut down this blog.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

To: Mathilde Bagnoire
From: Rodrigo Weiss
Date: 04/28/98
Subject: Automatons

Mathilde -

When I was a child my grandmother had a massive nativity which she would set up on the hearth. Because I begged her, and because it became tradition, she left the twinkle lights on when she went to bed. As I slept on the couch, I could see the Holy Family through my half-closed eyes—I would drift off, then awaken, and each time I awoke again the blinking lights would give the momentary illusion that these figures were moving. Sometimes they became my family - sometimes just anonymous people who loved me, once - though of course I never told my grandmother, or the priest, about it - once I awoke and I was the child in the manger. The looks on the faces of the Virgin, and the shepherds, were so full of love. After a few seconds, the illusion would fade, and I would find myself drifting off again. But every time, before I started to go too deep, I would awaken again, and once again the illusion that there was a warm, loving circle - a family - surrounding me. I don’t know which was more convincing - the feeling of well-being brought on by that momentary illusion, or the feeling of bottomless melancholy when the illusion faded. I would sleep fitfully. When it was morning, I awoke with the certainty - a certainty extremely difficult to dispel - that the world was peopled by automatons.

Rodrigo

Monday, April 16, 2007

Betrayal in the 14th Century (and the Present)

Sometimes it’s important to be reminded that our petty personal dramas are utterly insignificant in the face of history. The plight of the Tzombi exerts a pull on me which helps me forget mundane day-to-day squabbles and reminds me that I serve a larger goal. In that spirit, I present more history:

When the Black Death spread through Europe, certain populations were unaffected. The Tzombi were the most visible of this plague-immune group. Since Tzombi kept their houses dark, the windows of the Pre-Deceased population were covered with shutters and heavy draperies. The Tzombi were loath to take baths, because this hastened the deterioration of their skin. The Pre-Deceased also adopted these measures. Though we don’t have any Tzombi-written memoirs (no blood circulation leads to poor eyesight, which makes them averse to writing for long periods) we do have an account from Agnolo di Tura, called the Fat, from Siena.

The ashen ones, called the Luccini, were selected by the Magistrates and were bestowed with a thousand gold florin each that they were to spend on the poor sick and to bury the poor dead. And it is found that at this time there died in Siena 36,000 persons 20 years of age or less, and the aged and other people died, to a total of 52,000 in all in Siena. And in the suburbs of Siena 28,000 persons died, so that in all it is found that in the city and suburbs of Siena 80,000 persons died. But of the Luccini there were but few victims.


As soon as the plague was over, however, some began to turn against the Tzombi, believing that their immunity to the disease suggested that they were responsible for causing it. In Strasbourg, many were tried and tortured, and despite the Tzombi race’s relative indifference to pain, a few confessed:

Balavignus the grey, a wight and inhabitant of Thonon, was only placed on the rack a short time, and his bones did crack such that when he was taken off his gait was uneven and his wrist did hang limply from the tender sinews; and he confessed that he had been sold poison in a sewn leather bag, and he was ordered on pain of ban and in obedience of law to put the same poison into the larger and smaller wells of his town; he stated that the color of the poison was red and black and did resemble muscerdae.


In 1380, there followed lynchings in several towns by an anti-Tzombi vigilante society who called themselves the Boniti. Di Tura includes a description of one:

These four the Boniti dragged out of their houses and cut off their heads. And the mayor caused their heads to be set upon poles and carried before the king. And when the king saw the heads he did greet them and the heads were known to have greeted back for a day and a night. And the king thanked the mayor warmly for what he had done. But when the second morning dawned the heads were without life.


I confess that I’ve been thinking a great deal over the past several days about betrayal, how people can turn against you for no reason other than ignorance and an unwillingness to bend their minds and wills into something good and kind. No one is impervious to pain, not even the Tzombi.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

My Heart and Soul

K. and I are now sharing a cubicle. It seemed like the logical next step, as we are so like-minded in our working habits. Our research is going extremely well; I wouldn’t be surprised if we were promoted to positions of higher authority within the company. Though I normally don’t put my heart and soul into mere “day jobs,” K. has made me reconsider this policy. I feel a sense of joy simply being near her.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Tzombi Consciousness and Other Matters

I apologize if my last post offended anyone. While I try valiantly to keep emotion out of my entries, it seems to creep in anyway, like the voles at night in my office, chewing through my heart as if it were nothing more than a pulsing collection of live wires.

In any case, I’m happy to report that certain imposters have disappeared into the proverbial woodwork.

And now I can return to more serious matters.

I would like to publish a brief excerpt from Dr. Teresa Morgan’s article in Sentience: A Journal of Consciousness from March 20th, 2004 entitled “Dead or Alive? The Post-Deceased Consciousness”:

The zombie psyche is a study in contradictions. Though technically dead, high-functioning zombies are in general more emotionally alive and sensitive than their Pre-Deceased counterparts and suffer from a range of emotional afflictions, including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and Dissociative Identity Disorder. Though most of them have lost their identities, they often have a more keenly developed sense of self, occasionally to the point of megalomelancholia. In the lower-functioning zombies no such afflictions are observable, though it may be possible to draw parallels between the sheer will to exist -- a will which doesn’t even take into consideration the possibility of suicide -- and the will of the higher-functioning.


Dr. Morgan has an interesting background in that she started out counseling veterans, specializing in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder treatment. Her even-handed, compassionate documentation (totaling 13 journal articles in the past five years) of Tzombi psychology has gone a long way in “normalizing” the field. I have sent her some of my own research and hope that we may open a dialogue in the very near future.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Cotard's Syndrome and the Swirling Black Void

K. and I had a wonderful evening at a reception for a new exhibit at the Museum of Jurassic Technology last night. In case anyone is wondering, I think this relationship is definitely serious. It has erased all memories of previous relationships.

By the way, since some of you have asked, I’d like to post some pertinent scientific information about Cotard’s Syndrome. It is a condition – a mental illness – in which a person believes she has died and become a walking corpse. The delusion is often so persistent, she believes she can smell her own flesh rotting, that she can feel worms crawling through her skin, that she is putrefying, and that she has lost her blood and organs and is merely a shadow in this earthly existence.

I feel it would be remiss at this point to not share some details about a certain participant in my study (for the sake of the blog we will call her Mathilde). When I asked her about sensations relating to the “swirling black void,” she responded:
I’m drawn to it, even though it wants to destroy me. But I feel invincible. My flesh is rotting, I know it. I have no organs. I am obsessed with my own skeleton and the knowledge that it is stepping out of my skin, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. This is the part of me that is eternal, and I feel an invincibility knowing that it is going to be released. Life is the shroud and Death the unveiling. I find myself drawn to decay, and rot. What is it that keeps me moving, even though I am dead? It is the void.


As you will note, this mental delusion is quite serious, not only for the victim, but for anyone who crosses the victim’s path and becomes emotionally entangled with the victim.

Lives have been ruined by far simpler things.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Geophagy in the Non-Living Community

To answer a question posted in the comments section of the previous entry: yes, I was once acquainted with a young woman who indulged in the practice of dirt-eating.

Dirt-eating in the rural south and among the Tzombi population is a complex phenomenon and worthy of an entire paper of its own. The literature presents us with a number of conflicting testimonies about the “mud eaters”: it is sometimes difficult to separate racist propaganda and cultural bias/misunderstanding from disinterested observation; what we do know is that the earliest known reference to the “mud eaters” is in the aforementioned Kish stele.

The next mention comes from the diary of Agnolo di Tura in his 1347 A.D. plague remembrance. There is also an abundance of documentation regarding dirt eating among slaves in the rural south in the United States; because many American slaves came from various related regions through whatever circuitous route, it seems probable that the dirt eating which persists in the rural south was spread by this means. Whether dirt eating is a legitimate practice among the Tzombi population remains to be seen.

Of course, there are also members of the Living Community who still consume dirt, even in modern times. Here, from the White Dirt website:

Some people have actually been known to consume White Dirt regularly and not only like the taste but crave it. It has been said that the taste of white dirt is akin to the fresh way that the ground smells when it's real dry and a little sprinkle of rain falls. Dirt-eating is an ancient tradition that is practiced all over the world and although the demise of the practice has been predicted for many years, it still persists, particularly in rural areas of the South.


Aside from psychopathology (see aforementioned Soil Pica link), there are also possible medical reasons for dirt-eating. One may simply be that, though the need for eating has ceased, the habit continues, and dirt requires no digestion. In some African cultures, dirt eating is practiced among pregnant women, and medical studies have shown that it helps in producing antibodies. Since the post-deceased body is essentially a new life-form with a known susceptibility to certain viruses, it’s entirely possible that dirt-eating functions as a means towards increasing resistance.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Brahmagupta and the Void

A small setback today: another letter to the Center for the Study of the Living Deceased has been returned, unopened. How they can simply ignore my research is beyond human understanding. Adding insult to injury, the Sheriff’s Department rejected my request to conduct a seminar for the officers on Tzombi tolerance (this, despite their so-called public relations campaign to promote tolerance in the greater Los Angeles area).

Doubters and racists can turn a blind eye and pretend that the Tzombi race never existed. Meanwhile I am gathering a mountain of evidence which will soon be impossible to ignore.

I cite as an example the account of Sir Arthur Crawley, writing his Lives of the Mathematicians in the early 1800’s, who brings to light a few facts about the Indian mathematician Brahmagupta which might otherwise have been lost to the ages.

Brahmagupta’s major contribution to mathematics was in treating zero as a number in its own right, and in establishing a set of rules for working with negative numbers. Sir Crawley describes a near-fatal rodent attack which had Brahmagupta laid up for a number of days, presumed dead. He writes:

Upon recovery, Brahmagupta refused all nourishment and devoted
the lion’s share of his time in contemplation of the “cow’s udder,”
the large crater near his home town of Ujjain, which exerted a peculiar
fascination on him.


A rare order form—rare because of the scarcity of paper at the time but presumably necessary due to its unusual nature—details Brahmagupta’s request for a “black bowl, the lip of which is a zero and which, when set upright, represents a fortune, and which when set downright, represents a debt.” The bowl has never been discovered and is presumed destroyed, but several artists’ renditions have been created. I regret that I have been unable to secure the permission to use these images on this blog; however I have attempted with my own hand (a hand not untried in illustration) to render them:

1) Fortune (in Positive Numbers):



2) Debt (in Negative Numbers):



3) A View from Above:



Not surpringly, six months after the date of the order slip, Brahmagupta completed his Brahmasphutasiddhinta, or “The Opening of the Universe.”

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Cultivating a Social Life

Though it may seem like I spend all of my time working, I’ve actually been cultivating an active social life. What good is dwelling on the pain of past relationships? I’m certainly not so thin-skinned and pathetic as to be rattled by faux-commenters who might be trying to exploit a perceived weakness.

In FACT, I’m in a new relationship with a lovely co-worker named K. She’s so full of life, so very charming and good at her job. I feel like a whole new man, in case any of you were wondering. So you can stop with the taunting e-mails now. I am rubber and you are glue and anything you write to me simply goes one ear and out the other.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Zombies and the Adolescent Imagination

I was recently cited in an article in Sociological Review entitled “Zombies and the Adolescent Imagination.” I reprint a portion here for the benefit of some of our readers (you know who you are):

The zombie film, as a pop-culture artifact, reveals a great deal about the interior lives of male adolescents. If we look to De Walters’ study of marginalized male adolescents, (“The Lost Boys,” Journal of Pediatrics, Mar. 1971) we find abundant comments relating to sexual confusion and feelings of being unlovable or unloved. Often these comments take a turn towards subjects’ claiming to feel “disgusting” or “gross.” Yet these same adolescents claim an insatiable sexual drive, and therefore their nascent sexuality takes the form of a shambling, blind beast, which must “eat brains” no matter what the cost. The fact that zombies eat brains rather than genitals indicates that what these boys really crave is an emotional connection with a romantic partner, while simultaneously feeling unworthy of such a connection, because of their “gross,” mutating bodies. That these same boys obsessively fear a future in which they become mindless working-class drones highlights their abhorrence of and attraction to the zombie figure.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Another Disappointment

A bit of disappointing news today:

Dear Mr. Weiss –

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the Dorothy Chandler Lecture Series. At this time, we are no longer accepting applications to participate in the series. I am enclosing your proposal for “On the Evolution of Tzombi Culture in late 20th Century Los Angeles and Surrounding Counties” and the supporting materials that you submitted.

Good luck.

Sincerely,
M. Dresser
Assistant to Angela Frond



I believe I made reference in an earlier entry to the costs of pursuing truths which, for whatever reason, the Academic community would rather not hear. The letter above is an example of the professional cost, but there is a personal cost as well. I bring this up not because I feel sorry for myself, nor because I wish to apologize for past behavior, but because I wish to demonstrate my devotion to the Tzombi race, whose plight is larger than my relationship problems.

A certain individual has been posting personal e-mails in the comments section from a relationship which, for reasons which are unrelated to this blog, ended some years ago. Because this individual has a history of mental illness (Cotard's Syndrome) and is, I believe, reaching out for help, I do not want to cut off contact.

As these e-mails have no bearing whatsoever on this blog, please disregard them.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Tar Pits

Another excursion! Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at the George Page Museum, otherwise known as The La Brea Tar Pits. Such glorious remnants of a time we were not present for! Dedicated archaeologists spend every day excavating bones from the sticky pits of tar – mice, birds, saber-toothed tigers, dire wolves and mammoths. I spoke with one of the docents to find out if any human remains had been recovered from the tar – in particular, remains that suggested a post-deceased existence – but the docent referred me to the desk manager, who referred me to the security guard, who suggested I might take a turn in the gift shop. In any case, I now have a wonderful little keychain that reads STUCK ON FOSSILS! I think J. will get a kick out of it. My spirits are high.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Further Troubles with the Management

I made a brief excursion to Bakersfield over the three-day weekend. When I returned, I found that my office had not been cleaned. This is the sixth week in a row that a cleaning crew has skipped over my snug office. While I'm an exceptionally neat worker, I often engage in archive research/retrieval that results in a great deal of dust.

Following my eighth letter to the Property Management Company, I received this e-mail response:

Mr. Weiss:
We don’t clean your office, as per orders of the owener [sic].
The Management.
P.S. Stop writing.


I wrote back asking if there were someone to whom I could direct my frustration, and I received the following:

Hey Zombi [sic] guy:
Like I said, orders of the owener [sic]. What, a little dirt bothers a creep like you?
The Management
P.S. What part of STOP WRITING didn't you under-stand?


Needless to say, I have contacted a lawyer who feels I have the beginnings of a proper discrimination case.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Virus R428: A Three-Case Report

In my fervor I forgot to post the promised article. Here is the abstract:

Virus R428: A Three-Case Report

ABSTRACT: Seven years after the identification of R428 in victims suffering from Post-Mortem Mobility Syndrome its status as virus still remains in question. The presence of R428 in Pre-Decease individuals remains hypothetical. Detection of auto-immune response to R428 in Post-Decease individuals remains controversial, as the sample size is extremely small.

In the present study we examine the ways in which the structure, behavior, and possible function of R428 differ from that of a typical virus. In structure it resembles a virus save for its three polypeptide chains; in behavior it appears to bond with immunoglobulins but is not immobilized by them; in function, its presence is accompanied by a high presence of junk DNA “bundles”, which have been created by the process of agglutination.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Refusing a Marginalized Status

For those of you who haven’t been following the rather heated discourse in the comments section of previous posts, I would like to highlight a portion of an article which is in dispute. The article (Virus R428: A Three-Case Report) was published in the December issue of the Hippokratika and was later retracted, with the implication that the study was discredited because of tainted samples.

Those of us in Academe, however, know of the pressure which can be applied when one’s studies do not comply with established (some might say ossified) beliefs.

I count my marginalized status as a badge of honor; it is representative of the marginalized status of those I study. I do not complain that the CSLD at CCS chose to deny me access to the department DESPITE the fact that I am certain they are using my research (submitted as part of my application) to apply for grant money. The resistance of the Academic community in general to a worldview which would place the Tzombi at the center of world events -- their rightful place – is only indicative of the pressing need for systemic changes in modes of teaching. Their method has been to pathologize tzombism by claiming it is caused by a virus. If true, a virus is responsible for some of the crowning achievements of civilization.

They cannot, and will not, marginalize us! The truth will come out!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Botanica Mystere


Yesterday, I took an excursion (for research purposes) to a small shop in Hollywood called Botanica Mystere. The proprietor is an interesting woman named Esperanza; she claims to have an expertise in unconventional homeopathic and spiritual remedies for common Tzombi ailments. I gently pressed her for some detailed information, but she was sufficiently vague about her training and history. I broached the subject of the fallacy of the R428 virus, but she was completely disinterested in the debate that rages over the subject.

She did, however, sell me a CD, which sounds an awful lot like Native American folk music, but which she claims to have recorded on an island in the South Pacific while shipwrecked with a cocker spaniel and a rock band several years ago. I cannot verify the information, despite my efforts, and I therefore must use my dispassionate scientific eye to cast only a skeptical glance at her claims of “Tzombi knowledge.”

I will say that Esperanza has a wonderful selection of incense and shell necklaces in the store (located on Vine Street, very near a hat shop). Perhaps the excursion was worth it in the end, not because I found a like-minded individual to discuss Tzombi culture with, but because I have discovered Juice Fountain! Juice Fountain is the most wonderful little hole-in-the-wall shop two doors down from the Botanica. I ordered a wonderful fresh juice made of watermelon, orange, potato and basil, a combination that my grandmother loved. They didn’t bat an eye at the request.

I adore fresh juice and I will return.

Monday, February 12, 2007

The Swirling Black Void: An Examination

A comment from my new friend Cullen:
“Another thought I had last night before retiring to bed (I get all my best thoughts right before falling asleep): Have you considered that the “horrenda caribdis” on the Magnus woodcut we talked over is a reference to THE VOID that so often appears in zombie art?”

Cullen refers here to the “horrenda caribdis,” the Maelstrom, on the lower right of the Olaus Magnus woodcut, detailed in a previous post:



He compares it to the “void” described in many Tzombi testimonies as written about by Dr. Teresa Morgan through her work in Personality Reclamation using hypnotic regression. Her article in Sentience: A Journal of Consciousness 36, no 3 which describes the unique plight of the post-deceased, many of whom (87% by her count) have lost touch with their former lives. A quote:
One recurring motif in regression is the “swirling black void” or “vortex” which, if the subject is able to remember anything at all about his/her pre-decease existence, is the sole memory.

One subject had a very particular experience of this void -- a “vision,” if you will, while under hypnosis:
I saw a…black mass…which drew me to it. It was alive and…kind of—howling? But ‘howling’ isn’t the right word, because it was like everything was howling. Like a black hole would pull you apart if you fell into it? This was like a mental black hole. I could feel it would pull my thoughts apart-rip them right out of my head.


Compare this to my graduate work in which a small percentage of those experiencing NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) mentioned the “swirling black void”(Published in Thoughts on Thought: An Anthology of Consciousness, Brain Burst Books, 1992.)

At the time, I hypothesized this void to be the inverse of the commonly described “tunnel of light,” After years of studying the Tzombi, however, I am prepared to suggest another cause, the two of which need not be mutually exclusive: this “void” may be a genetic memory of the Black Rock of Cybele (or Assyrian Cenotaph, for those of you of Ashmolean bent) which imprinted itself on the DNA of the Tzombi race.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

A 'Zine for the Zeitgeist

I forgot to share one of my newly acquired treasures from the excursion to the Tzombi Gallery. After J. did not return from her trip to the ladies room (she decided to catch the #2 Sunset home, apparently), I struck up a conversation with a young woman named Monique, who purported to be distributing a ‘zine for her boyfriend, Ivan. She signed me up for a mailing list and sold me an edition of AMERICAN ZOMBIE:



I’m not quite sure what to make of this strange bit of pop culture. Is it art? Or an insensitive mockery of the Tzombi community? I choose to believe the former.

In any case, I look forward to adding it to my collection and performing further study.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Tzombi Rennaisance in Los Angeles

As a peace offering, I took J. to a gallery show last night, another wonderful example of the Tzombi renaissance here in Los Angeles. J. seemed more interested in the free wine and cheese cubes, but I was quite taken with an artist named Glen, whose work is comprised of wonderful, vicious swirls that he has proudly entitled Void 1.1, Void 1.3, Void 1.5.

Though J. left halfway through the evening, I had the good fortune of meeting Cullen Preys, the Assistant Curator of the show. We spoke about the renaissance of Tzombi culture in the Los Angeles area and traded thoughts on a series of Olaus Magnus woodcuts that were on exhibit at the Natural History Museum last month (see my previous post entitled FROM HERE TO GREENLAND AND BACK).

Cullen has a wonderful mind and an open heart, and I hope that we might continue our fascinating exchange of ideas in the near future. First and foremost is that I would like to persuade him to change his e-mail address to read “Tzombi Gallery” rather than “Zombie Gallery.”

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Black Rock of Cybele Redux

Thank you, thank you, Papillonnoirs, for emailing a fascinating article from the London Times, circa 1912:

August 10, 19XX
The London Times

An ancient stone, dating from 2000 B.C. and described as an Assyrian Cenotaph, is currently on display at the Ashmolean Museum before being returned to its origins in Arabia.

For almost twenty years the cenotaph has been in the museum, but neglected. The tablet had, indeed, been catalogued, but, apparently, this had been done from a cursory examination, for it had been placed in a cardboard box, covered with a glass top, and marked “burial stone.” When finally tended to, it was found that the stone had been nibbled at by rodents.

The Cenotaph is quite 4,000 years old, but whence it came from, and which expedition uncovered it, is still subject for investigation. That it was of great antiquity when the Book of Genesis was written is agreed, and that was at least 2,800 years ago.


Papillonnoirs, this is almost certainly the Black Rock of Cybele! Part of my difficulty in tracing it is no doubt due to my designating it thus, while the museum had been designating it by the generic (and faulty) heading of Cenotaph. A Cenotaph is a burial stone, and while this might be an understandable mistake for a layperson to make, for the curator of a museum dealing in antiquities it is inexcusable, as is the neglect shown.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Abbey of St. Denis

If one need any more proof of the capability of the Tzombi to engage in spiritual endeavors, one need only look to the example of St. Denis Abbey.

In 1132 A.D., the reconstruction of the Abbey of St. Denis, the first truly Gothic cathedral, seems to have benefited enormously by of Tzombi labor. The legend of St. Denis was one which would have appealed to the Tzombi population—he was sent to Gaul between the years 236 and 250 C.E. to help restore the Catholic Church, but the heathen priests eventually executed him and his companions. The Golden Legend relates it this way:

bespit and despised…beaten cruelly of twelve nights…stretched all naked upon the coals of fire…and anon the body of S. Denis raised himself up, and bore his head between his arms, as the angel led him two leagues from the place, which is said the hill of the martyrs.


Whether or not St. Denis was actually a member of the Tzombi race (and I hesitate to speculate on this with no data to support it), his abbey was a natural place of pilgrimage for the Tzombi population of France, and they were employed in building the cathedral. They would have been ideal laborers. But there is evidence that at least one Tzombi laborer made the ultimate sacrifice for the greater glory: the Golden Legend goes on to recount how, for nearly a decade after the completion of the abbey, the “foolish virgin” on the Northwest frieze was heard to knock at the door to the “Celestial City.” This might, of course, have been a typical miracle tale meant to draw people to the abbey -- early advertising if you will, if it weren’t for the fact that an X-ray of the wall taken during a restoration in the 1980’s revealed a skeleton walled up behind the sculpture. A murder, an accident, or a Tzombi volunteer, sacrificing himself for the “Miracle of the Knocking Virgin?”

Monday, January 29, 2007

Inner Lives of the Tzombi: Real or Imagined?

The assumption of certain raving genocidal maniacs seems to be that the Tzombi have no inner lives, an assumption I have proven patently false in my work in the area of philosophy. Recall the earlier quotation from ‘Mathilde’:
"…but I feel invincible. My flesh is rotting, I know it. I have no organs. I am obsessed with my own skeleton and the knowledge that it is stepping out of my skin, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. This is the part of me that is eternal, and I feel an invincibility knowing that it is going to be released."


Although ‘Mathilde’ maintained that she was not a member of the Tzombi race, her comments are nevertheless consistent with Dr. Theresa Morgan’s findings in her studies on the Tzombi psyche, and give a good indication of the spiritual capacity of the Tzombi.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Temporary Absence of Late

Apologies, Dear Readers, for my absence of late. I assure you, it was not by choice that I withdrew, but was merely a symptom of circumstances beyond my control. A minor scuffle at work, involving some characters you are familiar with (but who shall remain nameless), resulted in a temporary transfer to the Long Beach branch of the company I am temporarily consulting for. In addition to the extra commute, I was mysteriously locked out of my own computer at the Herald Building. A password glitch, apparently (I choose not to believe it was sabotage).

Fear not, all is well again. I am back at work in the Los Angeles office. I have regained access to my files and my equipment. The heat still isn’t working, but luckily, the cold snap has ended for the time being.

I will resume posting tomorrow afternoon.

On a personal note, I’d like to apologize publicly to J. Let’s not let things escalate again, shall we?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Thermostat, Redux

Bad news: J. has returned and is watching the thermostat like a hawk. In an effort to ease tensions, I have posted a calendar in the break room which assigns thermostat control to employees on a rotating basis. Right now, as I type, a fellow employee who I won’t name is eyeing the calendar and attached petition as he sips his coffee. He obviously doesn’t want to be the first to sign. This may be a problem. Mob behavior rules in an office environment. Perhaps I should have approached each employee individually and filled the petition with signatures before presenting it to J., at which point she would have had no choice but to add hers.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Brains, An Illustrated History

I would like to post the following illustration, thanks to an email from papillonnoirs (such a wonderful name -- it reminds me of Edith Piaf. Which song is that?):



At any rate, the illustration initially puzzled me -- one of hundreds of incorrect medical depictions of the brain (note the pomegranate-like cluster near the hypothalamus) which flourished in 17th century Britain. The assumption of medical historians has always been that there was one incorrect original drawn from an anomalous sample which was then copied and distributed to medical students, who in turn created their own copies.

After some thought, however, I remembered the words of Emma Pease, British crusader and suffragette, in her 1848 anti-vivisection pamphlet called An Outcry Against the Impediments, Defects, and Abuses Existing in the Present System of Medical Education, with Suggestions for Their Removal and Correction, which includes a rather curious mention of “other means by which to experiment on living tissue, which have been practiced these last hundred years.” She then goes on to write that “with such an excess of semi-sentient human subjects for surgical experimentation why must dumb animals continue to suffer?”

This could perhaps be overlooked if it weren’t for the fact that the London Medical Gazette ran the following ad for several months in 1848:

LIVING CADAVERS
For hire
For research and experimentation
Contact Mr. James Foley, 14 Pudding Lane, London


Further, a news story dated 1849 from Bell’s New Weekly Messenger recounts the arrest of Charlie “the Hound” Frobisher, a.k.a. James Foley, who was charged with numerous counts of human trafficking, counts which were later changed to illegal goods trafficking, for which he was jailed.

A little detective work leads us to the conclusion that the subject of the original illustration was a member of the Tzombi race.

Thank you, papillonnoirs, for your insight!


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

From Micronesia to the Shang Dynasty

Much as I abhor some of the comments which are being posted, I feel that to exclude such comments from the blog would be to participate in the same sort of conspiracy of denial as the Academic/Scientific community. Because I hold this blog’s readers in such high esteem, I feel the best way to combat ignorance is to present all of the information available and let them decide for themselves exactly who is the raving genocidal maniac. I will not be shaken in my purpose. In this spirit, I would like to continue in my attempt to encapsulate the history of this race.

After the “mud eaters” were taken prisoner by the Amorites, many of them became refugees and scattered over an inland route through Asia, establishing footholds in several areas along the way. Some of them took to boats, and there is evidence that they reached Micronesia as early as 1800 B.C. and became known to natives as the Iyebu.

In China, they were incorporated into the Xia Dynasty, whose Emperor Zhong Kang recognized their potential as fierce warriors. When the Shang Dynasty came to power they were captured as prisoners of war and forced into subservient positions. The majority were occupied in building—many of the structures of the Shang dynasty (the capital at Zhengzhou, for example) were built out of stamped earth, which is created by having workers walk around earth that has been pressed into a large wooden frame until it becomes as hard as concrete. They excelled at this mindless task. How else to explain the otherwise indecipherable stanza from the 19th century erotic poet Qong Li?

My heart would beat
The unstoppable beat
Of a thousand stamping feet
Upon freshly dug palace walls.


Finally, from a Maogong tripod ceramic, inscriptions on the base of the object clearly depict a tzombi figure stamping the earth:



And a closer look here:

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Next Evolutionary Step in Human Existence?

COMMENT (Jimson): Are you suggesting we eradicate those who suffer from the virus as well?

COMMENT (beagle): Yes.

COMMENT (Jimson): That would mean they would be dead again. Is this your suggestion?

COMMENT (beagle): My suggestion is to treat an unnatural state by eradicating the virus.


In my opinion, what some of my readers – and government officials, for that matter – are suggesting in demanding the eradication of those who suffer from the R428 virus is no less than genocide. Furthermore, genocide of a race which has contributed substantially to world culture. All of the credentials in the world cannot justify this. And again, I must reiterate that the virus has not been established as the cause of PMMS. In the past it was held that there were races of immortals. Given the close correlation with PMMS and immortality, is it too outrageous a claim to suggest that PMMS may be the next evolutionary step in human existence? Wouldn’t it be arrogant of science to reject accepted wisdom by claiming that immortality is caused by a virus?

What “beagle” is suggesting is to deny the human race immortality. If it were millions of years ago, he might have denied us binaural hearing, or color vision. Further, I have a feeling I know who “beagle” is and he’s just bitter because he wasn’t asked to participate in the documentary.

Friday, January 05, 2007

A Reader Weighs in with Evidence

TRASHING HISTORY

“The mourning becomes unbearable,” writes Piotr Denisovich, a professor of Near East Studies at the University of Michigan, to other scholars.

“At my desk I keep a photo of a woman’s head made of marble, whose empty eyes have stared back since I first took this post. This amazing mask has survived for more than 5,000 years. Now, approximately 170,000 objects—vases, figurines, stele, statues, cups, diadems, and clay tablets—have been savagely ripped from their shelves and have very likely disappeared forever. Who is going to replace them?”

Though there may not be a direct answer to Denisovich’s question, a current investigation directed by the Hague has called a few to account, among them billionaire Ivo Kashoggian, who has been accused of purchasing antiquities from looters.

Though Kashoggian could not be reached for comment, a spokesperson issued the following statement: “Nine-tenths of the world’s antiquities have been acquired through non-traditional means. Every collector from the Medicis to the British Museum has, at one time or another, whether deliberately or mistakenly, acquired an antiquity through illegal means.”

Kashoggian is only the highest-profile of those who have been placed under investigation by the Hague. The course of his trial will no doubt set a precedent for the manner in which those who have been connected to antiquities looting will be brought to justice.


San Francisco Chronicle, April 21, 2003


Thank you, papillonnoirs, for this illustration of what can happen to the world’s treasures when those in charge are spoiled brats with no reverence for history. No doubt the woman’s head mentioned would have languished on some pillar in Kashoggian’s obscene temple to his own greed. The people own these treasures! Try as they might, those in power can not take them away from us!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The Journey of the Black Rock

A concerned reader has inquired about the current whereabouts of the Black Rock of Cybele:

I’ve heard that lots of Sumerian antiquities disappeared during the looting of Iraq. Is it possible the Black Rock of Cybele was one of them?

I can assure all of you that it did NOT disappear in the looting of Sumerian antiquities after the commencement of the war in Iraq. I’ve traced the journey of the Black Rock from ancient Babylonia where it later found its way to Persia but was given to the Anatolian explorer Strabo as a gift for the emperor Tiberius. When Tiberius died, some of his possessions languished in poor storage, owing to his unpopularity as a ruler. We have a record of the neglect which occurred in Suetonius’ biography of Tiberius:

“The people were so glad of his death, that at the first news of it some ran about shouting, ‘Tiberius to the Tiber,’ while others prayed to Mother Earth and the Manes to allow the dead man no abode except among the amend. His possessions languished and the great statue the Apollo of Temenos was toppled and his legacy was scattered among his heirs and the public alike.”


Zoinky will recall that an anti-Tzombi graffiti was found near the site of Tiberius’ death. Alas, we have no record of what happened to the Black Rock in particular.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Historical Fact becomes Myth

In an earlier entry, I told the story of Agdistis, who gave birth to the goddess Cybele. The “Black Rock of Cybele” has become something of a grail for those of us who study the Tzombi community, since it disappeared from the palace of the Roman emperor Tiberius and has yet to reappear. This is unfortunate, as the Black Rock is thought to have cosmic origins, and may be the same which fell in the Hé-Gál Valley around 2500 B.C., destroying all the vegetation there and poisoning the Tigris river. The valley became known as the Hur-sag Uq, or the Valley of the Dead.

A couple of hundred years later, a Semite known to history as Sargon the Greatcrossed this valley with his army, bringing with him a black rock. The Kish Stele describes Sargon and his army were described as being “covered in ashes” because of their pallor. It also rechristens the Valley of the Dead as the Valley of the Living Ashes. Sargon established hold of the Sumerian city of Kish, destroying all of his enemies. He claimed to be directly descended from Cybele. The center of worship for Cybele became the black stone, which was enshrined at Pergamum (see entry entitled “Persecution and Fear” 11/28/06 for more on Cybele).
Eventually the Sumerians were overrun by the Amorites, and they disappeared as a recognizable race. Those that survived were taken to Babylonia, where they are referenced in the Enuma Elish, the Babylonian epic of creation, and demonized as conquered cultures typically are. Because there was no food to be found in Sumer when the Amorites conquered, and no cooking utensils, and no cooking pots, the Sumerians earned the title of “mud-eaters”, and mud came to be considered the food of the dead in Babylonian mythology. The fourth tablet of the Enuma Elish recounts the wholesale slaughter of the Sumerians, where it says of Marduk, the Babylonian hero:

The four winds he stationed so that nothing of
the mud-eaters might escape;
The South wind and the North Wind and the East wind
and the West wind
And the fourfold wind, and the sevenfold wind, and
the whirlwind, and the wind which has no equal;
He sent forth the winds which he had created, the seven
Of them;
And scattered the mud-eaters to the lands beyond the sea;
He severed their inward parts, he pierced their hearts,
Their heads he burst like ripening fruit
He cast down their bodies and stood upon them
Their might was broken, their host scattered.


Astute readers will probably recognize that the story of the Valley of the Dead found its way into the Old Testament, where it was converted into a prophecy of the regeneration of the house of Israel in Ezekiel’s vision of dry bones coming to life. So the story passed from historical fact into legend and then myth and then prophecy.

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007 Arrives

Happy New Year. Though my trip into the desert was unsuccessful (I got lost on the way to Ridgecrest, then experienced some car trouble), I spent a lovely holiday at the Best Western in Lancaster.

In any case, I look forward to getting back on track with the blog (I fear my postings have wandered into “personal” territory, something I vowed I would not subject my loyal readers to).