I awoke this morning to the smell of burning phone books and Rite-Aid advertisements. Lo and behold, it turns out you built a tower of broken chairs, cardboard boxes and recyclable papers in our laundry room and struck a match. Please believe me when I tell you that I understand the frustration that one can feel as a marginalized member of society. But lighting a building on fire is not the answer. More specifically, destroying perfectly nice washing machines and dryers is simply a waste of precious resources. Perhaps next time, you’ll take a cue from our Tzombi friends and stage an orderly protest or create an inspirational piece of art. True self-expression rarely involves arson.
Please seek help.
Your friend,
Rodrigo
